As the year comes to an end, I have taken the opportunity to reflect and contemplate on my progress – not perfection – in doing what God charged me to do in 2015, when He said, ”practice your purpose.” I took the charge, and immediately did what I always do... run ahead without asking what does that mean, or listening for further instructions. Instead, I set goals for myself, and now I realize that they were just that, goals I set. They had little or nothing to do with what God really meant for me to do in this season when He said “practice your purpose.”
There was no way I would have known that come December, I would have to say goodbye to my first friend in life, my only sister, Karina Jamir. I had no way of knowing that “practicing my purpose” would mean helping her make the transition from this life to the next. When I learned Karina only had a short time with us, I went into my normal mode of life... planning, taking care of business and making sure things were in order. It was only when God reminded me that “practicing my purpose” in this instance meant showing my sister that her life had value and that she would be remembered for the love she gave and not the mistakes she made.
This assignment that God had given me was bittersweet, especially while I was walking it out. But today, a little more than a week after she has transitioned, I see the gift of God’s grace and favor; He allowed me to “practice my purpose” by letting Karina know that she had fulfilled hers. My heart is broken because I will miss her physical presence (her voice, her smile, her smell, her hugs), but I know that as time passes, the pain will lessen, and I will smile more and cry less.
There are many lessons that I have learned in this process: I have to take the time and talk to God about his plans and purposes for me in each season of my life. I have to slow down and not fall back on my default behavior and miss the real call on my life. I should cherish each day with those I love and be careful how I treat them. I need to rest in the fact that God said His plan is to prosper me and not to harm me, so I don’t have to come up with my own plan to make it happen.
I thank God for preparing and allowing me to “practice my purpose” and for trusting me with the help of the Holy Spirit to do it in a way that gave my sister the peace she needed to transition into eternal life with her Savior. It is my prayer that when He speaks a Word to me for 2016, that the lessons I have learned will be applied to my life in such a way that I will bring Him all the glory, honor, and praise that He is so worthy of.